Healing Hurts.
Healing hurts.
It should anyway, if you’re doing it right. Much like the process of caring for and dressing a wound. There are days of aches & pains, long sleepless nights, uncomfortable and even gross symptoms; infection, blood, the list goes on.
It’s far easier for us to manage & mitigate the pain of our physical wounds. Since we were children we’ve been falling and getting back up from scraped knees and bruised elbows. So what happens when our real wounds, the truest, deepest kind, are of the soul? The heart space, psyche, the emotional, mental, & energetic bodies. What happens when we grow from a root of abuse?
Symptoms manifest in a variety of ways. Each and every one of us has suffered our own trauma and everyone carries theirs differently too. Trouble sleeping. Issues with eating. Anxiety, stress. Disfunction in our relationships, familial, business, personal, including and not limited to our finances & careers, our homes, literally EVERYWHERE! Some carry their pain physically. Across their backs, the tightness of the neck, the shoulders. The immobility of the hips or the heart space. Other’s seem to drag their feet as if they are bound by links and links of heavy chains.
As a child I dealt with depression. I struggled with it through much of my young adult too. An emotional wound from childhood that while I kept a brave face present for the world, I was locked in inner turmoil. Distracting myself with drugs, parties, nightlife. I was afraid of my true self for so long, I tucked her away quietly where she could be safe and no one would ever find her. I was hiding from myself and the world.
It’s taken many years of personal self discovery & shadow integration work to come to the place of awareness I reside in now. And please believe me when I say, I still have my off days. Patterns are written into the psyche like grooves into wood. They get deeper over time, some edges smooth, others jagged. In yogic philosophy these mental patterns are known as ‘samskaras.’ And it can take an entire lifetime to re write this karma.
Through personal experience we learn ourselves and true nature - and then, there’s a deeper piece still. The chains that have been passed down to us from our ancestors. Those that came before us, in our families, bloodlines, and closest relations. These wounds and samskaras can literally be written into our dna from before our birth, or transferred onto us as children.
The work is Real and it is Tough.
It takes courage and mettle to grit down into yourself or toward your loved one through the eyes of love & compassion and say, I see you. I see you in your “ugliness” and I embrace you. Truly our hurt is not what makes us ugly but in fact what makes us unique.
It is your divine birthright to heal yourself. To heal your ancestors through your living dream. Ancestral healing is some of the deepest work a soul self in human carnation can do because then, you will know your true name for you are a breaker of chains.
I love you.
